In response to someone...

Yes yes yes... The HUG!

The HUG we had!!! You're right, the feeling was indeed splendid!

Hahaz, i guess this Saturday we're going to be rasta!

The last performance was Jamaican color,

this time, its RASTA!

I'm wearing GREEN... then the two of you decide who wears yellow and red k?

Love you all!!!

SALAM DUNIA!

"Ya'Allah, yang maha esa dan maha pengampun lagi maha penyanyang. Hambamu ini sungguh bersyukur. Hari ini, hari yang indah dan bahagia bagiku. Hatiku hanya penuh dengan syukur, keranamu Ya'Allah, kawanku telah kembali ke sisi teman-temannya yang sangat menyanyaginya dan merinduinya. Terima Kasih Ya'Allah. Hari ini menjadi hari yang aku janji, bahawa aku akan jaga teman-temanku ini. Aku akan menjaga hati mereka, menjaga mereka seperti ahli keluargaku sendiri. Aku tidak mahu menyakitkan hati mereka. Aku mahu mereka sentiasa bahagia. Semoga persahabatan kita akan kekal, hingga ke akhir hayat. Amin!"


Today brings alot of smile to me, to my heart. I was late, but she waited. Early in the morning already joked around, talked about F1 and all. Cool! Seeing her really smiling and laughing, it just brightens my day! It really brightens my day! I love you so much oh friend! I promise i won't do anything to hurt your feelings again! Missed you lots!!!


I skipped school and chilled with Wan SAMBA and Izham! Kecoh babe. We talked about music, and how being a musician is not only about music. We talk about how other things can relate to how good a musician can be. Then today, practice was fun. IZHAM!!! Its ok to do mistakes. At least you tried. I know you can do it. We believe in you!! As for the rest, i hope you all like the new song. BANGHRA HAPPENING EH! You all are damm happening tonight!!!


check this out... Our happening conversation of the night!

Yussie: SYAZ! AKU NAK MASAK AYAM MASAK ITIK!

Syaz: YUS! AKU NAK MASAK RENDANG MASAK GULA MERAH!

... and the story goes on... panjang giler!!! Saksikan Yussie dan Syaz di episode Seloka Lauk Raya! Fear factor version!

and then... the song of the night

"TING TA-TA TING-TANG TING"

Soon we'll make that song!

Today, walking home with Yussie, macam sing-along-session! Darn, we love BACKSTREET BOYS! Who says boybands aren't cool. Music is still music! We can be the new accapella duo in school. Cool or what? Oh and i asked her about playing the conga for my show, she is interested. We'll learn the songs and i'll make sure you can play it ok? You can do it! You got it in you!


I don't really want to type such a long entry tonight. Like i said, "Happiness Beyond Words". Anyways, going to head to bed soon. Tomorrow morning, i've got deliveries to make. I need my strength. Last day of puasa!

Ok i asked YUSSIE for her opinion... this is what she gave me:

Baju kurong... Gold or Brown? She choose GOLD!

Hair... Tie or Let go? She choose Let go!

Thanks gurl!


I talked to my best friend... Nina Pretty Ballerina... Today's main issue between me and her... SHE DON'T LIKE GUYS WITH LONG HAIR! this is the only thing we never agreed with each other. Hahaz. and it will last on 'till god knows when. luckily she already engaged! So lesser chance that might end up with her... and I DON'T HAVE TO CUT MY HAIR! hahahaz! Anyways, i know long hair or not, you'll still be my best friend kan? Kalau kau cakap tak... sumpah aku tak percaya. Wahahahaz. *Kau kan boyfriend and gossip partner aku. *Inside joke*. Dah lama tak bebual pasal gol and gencu eh? Stop it Syaz! Nina, aku sayang kau! You my best friend forever! Sayang nyer tahun ni, aku baru dapat jumpa kau skali jer! Enjoy kau nyer raya ngan TUNANG kau k? Oh... she and her tunang, the leg same size. Can exchange shoe! Cool or what? klakar pun ada ah. you are rare gurl!


Ok, i thought i don't want to write a long entry, i guessed i lied.

HAPPY NIGHT TO ALL OF YOU PEOPLE.

SALAM DUNIA, SALAM SEMUA, SALAM HARI RAYA, BERSINAR AKHIRNYA!!!

P/S: Yussie, nanti bila lauk Kari masak Kepala Semut aku dah siap, aku send some gi umah kau! Perangai Kau seh! Ngaaaa!

I know you people might be thinking, why the hell am i writing so many posts in one day. I have no idea as well. Just to tell you, there is 5 in total. This is the last post of the day... I hope.

To a special friend of mine...

Yesterday, when i saw you there sitting, waiting for me, i really felt like hugging you and tell you that things will be alright and you'll be alright. But i know that it ain't time yet. I felt awkward too. Everytime i spoke, your try to give the shortest response you could. But i understand.


But the thing that made me happy yesterday, was that i was able to see you again, to see you laugh during practice. Somehow, we talked about this before. About how when we are playing music, it just puts away everything in our mind for that moment.


This is a friendship that really means something to me, and i dare to say that it means something to us. Like i said before. This is a friendship that started with nothing and grew into something big. In only a month, we felt total happiness and utter sadness. Something that don't usually happens to a friendship in such short time. But it takes a longer time to heal the wounds that has been caused. But just like any other wounds, it will heal. Some wounds leaves a scar, some don't. But even if it does, scars not necessarily be a reminder of a bad moment. Scars can be a reminder of a happy moment, a moment of victory over struggle. A moment of happiness over sadness.


Right now, the only thing that can bring you back to us is TIME. No matter how long it takes, we'll be waiting. No matter how long, I still love you, o'bestfriend of mine. We love you! I'll be looking forward to that moment when we would hug each other, cry if we have to, laugh if we could, and tell each other how much we miss, and how much we love one another. Tell each other of our sorry(s), and hope that from that moment on, we would go through the tough times together.


I know how much this song means to you. I didn't tell you this, but remember the card i made for you when i tried to cheer you up? The yellow and green card? and after that i went up for awhile and i told you i'd be right back. I actually asked the guy playing the piano if he could play for me a song. Actually i wanted him to play a song, so that i can dedicate it to you. But sadly, the guy was not really a pianist. Darn, plan backfired! I asked him to play you this song... I don't have the song with me, but its a song that you listened to when you were down, and i remembered you gave me a link to that song when i was down... but here is the lyrics.
(You can try to imagine me singing it also... oops, just kidding. Won't want to spoil the song for you. hehe.)


"Oh if someone writes a song
With a simple rhyme
Just a song
Where his feeling show
And if someone feels the same
About the simple song
Oh sometimes
You can hear them sing

Music gives you happiness or sadness
But it also, it also heals your soul

Let the music heal your soul
Let the music take control
Let the music give you
The power to move any mountain

Oh if someone plays piano
With some simple chords
So melodic
And endearing, too
And oh if someone plays guitar
With the old piano
And maybe
You can hear them sing

Music gives you happiness or sadness
But it also, it also heals your soul

Let the music heal your soul
Let the music take control
Let the music give you
The power to move any mountain"


Let the music heal your soul...


Your's Truly,
Syazni Sukarman.


P/S: "Aku doakan agar hatimu cepat sembuh. Amin."

This post is meant for someone.
It is in good heart and good will.

Dear Friend/Jiran/Sister/Good Friend...

I don't know which one to to refer you to, because you are all of the above. Do you know that seeing you being the way you are the other day, i was really shocked, afraid, i panic. Was i at fault? Did i say something wrong? Did i hurt your feelings? Did i make you cry?

I know what we talked about before you tried to hold back your tears. I saw your face changed from a smiling face to a face that is full of sadness. From where i was sitting, it looked like one of those moments where you just can't find the strength to stay strong and not let yourself cry. But you just had to. I said all those things about you, because i cared for you very much. I didn't want you to end up hurting other people's feelings or worse, getting your own feelings hurt. But i really didn't mean that you should change immediately.

Remember this one particular day, when you were all down, worried about your friends who still have not found the seriousness in them, then you don't know why, but you felt so down the whole night? Do you remember? Do you also remember that i was trying slowly to help you figure out what is disturbing your mind? I just want to be there to help you in these times when you are confused or should i say "lost". I want to help you to be able to make decissions. But i really didn't mean for you to do it immediately. I want to help you. But maybe perhaps i shouldn't.

When i saw you being the way you are then, i was scared. Its something about you i've never seen before. You didn't want to look at me and talk to me. You gave me the kind of feeling that its better that if i wasn't there at all. I just had to know what was disturbing you, because it seems like it was me. I felt that my words had offended you real bad.

Remember when i was all angry and upset, and i kept it to myself. You were the one who told me that what i did, was instead of keeping it to myself, i end up making everyone felt bad. Which is not good. You told me that i should tell you people what i feel because i treat you all like a family. Now i know what it felt like when people come to you and asked if i was alright, because that was exactly what happened, only this time around, asking me about you.

When you asked me, "Why should I worry about you?"... I felt like a knife went through my chest. Should i even get such a question? And when i chased after you, you just told me "Apa kau nak dari aku?"... It really darn pierced me. It really did. But that night, when i read something you wrote, it sure hell felt like an axe, used to chop off a part of you.

Honestly this was what i felt and the questions in my mind...Why? What happened? Was it my fault? Was it me? Why won't you look at me? Why won't you speak to me? Why did you have to run away? Where was i? Was i not needed? Was what i said wrong? Did i deserve this? ... and more...

But i understand now that you just need your space. You need your time. You need to be with those whom you really would prefer to be with. People who really knows you.

I'm very sorry for everything i said that offended you in anyway. I apologise for everything. Aku sayang persahabatan kita. A friendship that was built with nothing, and it grew into something
big. That is why i wrote what other feelings i have in my book. So that it won't have to affect our friendship. Kau dah macam kawan baik & also adik kepada aku. I'd do anything to treasure and protect this friendship of ours. I also love this professionalism we have. To see you just walk away, aku takut kau tak akan pusing balik. Aku risau. Aku dapat rasa kan kekosongan di hati 2 orang kawan bila kamu tidak hadir tanpa apa-apa kata. We respect your need for space and time. Time. We pray that through time, it will give you back the strength that you need to pick yourself up again. And through time, it will bring this friendship to greater heights.You are greatly missed, by me, by us.

When you're ready, we'll be here waiting. We'll be here for you. I can't wait to go to school with you like we always do, i can't wait to walk that route home after practices with a friend who i can joke around with, talk about things, share good and bad moments, talk about music. Shake your hand, and give you hug before you go home, a symbol of greater days of friendship to come.

You told me before, we need to be "Strong", we need to "Trust". Trust is the very key to everything. "Love" builds with "Trust". I trust that you will be ok through time. I trust that time will bring you back to us, and once again, we build this friendship better.

P/S: "Sanggup", "Sentak", "Johore Singapura", "Yakon tari"... and many more... words reminds me of a wonderful family of friends we have...

Oh... and a tribe won't be complete without its princess. Hehe.Take care o'dear friend of mine.
Will be seeing you again soon aight!

Your's Truly,
Syazni Sukarman.

Last week was filled with emotions, but those emotions didn't end just there. This week, emotions ran around more wildly and drastically.

Monday & Tuesday was quite good. On Monday, i got to meet her. After so long of arguing, of seperation, finally we got to meet again. But not on a very good note. She came to my school, to meet me, to give me back my things. Things which gave great meaning and memories of me to her. I understood why she had to return me those things. Just that when i saw her then, there is this part of me inside that wished if only things were better. Somehow she was there. Eventhough i was angry, i was sad, i honestly say, i really miss her alot. Seeing her there, i felt like hugging her, holding her hands again, even maybe give her a kiss to tell her that everything is going to be ok. But i can't. I can't. That is why i had to ask Yussie and Milly to accompany me. I really needed them to be there. I don't want to drown in tears again.

"Thank you so much for the wonderful memories we had. The precious moments spent. The love, the care, the companion... Thank you for everything. Kalau ada jodoh, tak kan ke mana-mana. Take very good care of yourself. I know i haven't really been there for you, even as a friend. That is because i just need to get myself moving forward first. I hope you understand. Even sometimes it hurts to say this, but i hope that you'll find someone who is the man of your dreams. Someone whom can naturally fit in to be with you. Lastly, i hope you remember me always, as i will always remember you.

Always loving you and always being a friend for you...
Syazni Sukarman."

So there it went. Monday, 22nd September, was our official broke-up date.

Practice was as usual after school. This time, we fixed on structures for the "dance song". I was happy with them. They can now play the song without even having me there to lead. The team building is moving.

Tuesday also was quite a good day. But then, we did something funny. Me, Yussie, Milly and Ninseh were late. Then we decided to DLLS(dah lambat, lambatkan skali). But hey, guess what, we ended up walking to our spot and hell... we didn't go to class... AGAIN!

Practice after that was held @ our spot and was conducted by... THEM! I could see all of them working together, trying to create a fix structure for the "intro song".
"Yussie, slow ok? Keep practising and you'll get that conga rhythm soon. Jyeahh!"
I really am happy that they really are working towards playing as a unit.

For the first time, we all buka at our spot. We made it as though it was our home. Anyways, Wan, Fai and Faiz, volunteered to help me lead the B.E people for the finale practice the next day. Since i already fixed on a locked structure, i printed the structure for them. Anyways, while the team was trying to play the "2nd song", Wann sort of changed the Surdo rhythm, and hell, it sounded darn good. I tweaked the snare rhythms abit and the Surdo, and while they were playing it, i could image alot of stuff to add on, like for eg, electric guitar, bass, keyboards, and a whole lot of other percussion instruments. We'll make that our new song for other events k?

Wednesday, I could not make it for B.E practice. I had performance with TerraVakka @ No.5, emerald hill. It was their beach party, as they have it every year. Anyways, before that, I know Yussie promised she would go with me to my show, but i understand, so i thought she would go for B.E instead, but actually she forgotten all about it. Ok, i was quite upset at first, but hey, i understand lah. She's always with us. In the end she cancelled all plans with whom she had made on that day. She went to highlight her hair. At least she walked with me to CWP after school. Thanks for waiting Yussie.

Show with TerraVakka was great. Simple but shiok. After that we hang out for supper. Long time never hang out with them.

Thursday. I really don't want to remember this day. But it happened and at the same time, i cannot forget it. All i can say is... I panic! Really was Panic!

After school, Only half of IJ came to my place. She didn't come. Even my mum told me to send the food to her, but can't do so. She wouldn't respond to me or the others. I really hope you're ok.

I really didn't sleep that night. The whole night, i keep going down to grab a puff or two. My mind was just not at ease. My heart felt like its exploding. I felt like i've lost everything that day. Everything. Eventhough we are just friends, but that is what makes it even more harder. Because we are friends. To lose a friend is worse!

I was freaking early for school on Friday. Firstly, she replied me in the morning saying she is not going to school. When i was in class, everyone asked me why i am so quiet and down, i just didn't know how to tell them. All i could do was keep quiet.

During 2nd break, I sat all alone at our spot. I feel like screaming out loud. WE MISS YOU!!! I MISS YOU!!! Its like having a sister gone missing. That was how it felt. I just wished you had at least given me a call or reply to my messages. But another friend told me, perhaps you needed time. And i guess they are right.

Saturday... which is just now.
We had practice for next Saturday and Monday's show. We did Samba-Reggae-Bhangra. Its called SamGaeBra. Credits to those who were present today. You were all great.

The best thing! I called her in the morning, she pickep up. She met me to go to school together and we went back together. Ok, still abit quiet and i know she is still trying to get back to her feet. But during practice, seeing her smile and laugh again, darn it just lights up the darkness. I'm glad you're back o' good friend. But i hope you'll come back with your full-self again soon. We really miss you.

I changed my BlogSkin. Coolio-Oreo-Cheesecake!

To my brothers, sisters, my motivations, my inspirations, my strengths...

I would like to take this wonderful moment, in this month of blessings to apologise for what have happened in this past week or so. I am deeply greatful and honoured for having the chance to get to you each and everyone of you. Until today, created a bond so close, unseen by our very eyes, but felt by our very hearts.

After what was said and shared on friday night, i've come to realise something that i did not notice until then. That is perhaps we have been doing this thing that we do for quite some time that i felt like i have put too much expectations on you people and that i forget that we are all still learners. I forget how the feeling was when i was still in all your shoes. I forget what it was like to do mistakes. I forget what it was like to support when another when things go wrong. Most importantly, i forget about myself. All i wanted was to produce a standard that could be considered far better from others. I wanted you all to be with me, and by doing so, i am actually pushing you all further from me. That is where my mistake was.

Alot of things have been happening to me this past few weeks. Even minutes before i wrote this. Yes, i am a man. But i am an ordinary man, who have fears. My emotions recently went all over. My mind is blocked and my heart is not at ease. But i try my best not to mix it all up. If i am angry during practice, its not because of any other personal things. Trust me.

On that friday night, i was so dissapointed that i could not find myself to talk to you people. Not that i hate, but because i love you all. I was afraid to tell you all my dissapointment because i did not want you all to feel dissapointed. But what i did was actually bringing you all down with me. I am sorry.

You all have been the sunshine when the rain was falling on me. I love you all so much. It was wrong for me to say some of those things i said on Friday after the rehearsals. When we had our group hug, i felt the kind of feeling that i never felt before. Tears running down from my eyes. Tears of joy that i have you people at this time. You have all been like a family to me in these short time.

This is my promise to all of you IJ. I won't give up. Starting from this Monday, we're gonna forget all the fancy-smancy stuff and lets get back to one thing. TOGETHER-NESS. Lets bring back all the positivity. Lets function as a unit this time. A unit that goes on even when one is down. A unit that can be independant, but when together, are indestructable. I promise that we will make it through, and lets make every practice from now on a more serious yet memorable and enjoyable one.

YUSSIE, MILLY, YANIE, FAIZ, FAI, WANN, DAN, NATT, ROSY, NINI...

This is my promise to you all. Aku sayang korang sangat2. So help me in these times when i am lost, so that i can come back and be there to help all of you together as a team.

Thanks Yussie.... i still remember .... "be strong"

From someone who loves and care very much for all of you...

Syazni Sukarman.

Photography: Yussy & Syaz
Editing: Syaz

Here we go again!

Syaz's Photoshoot. Photography by Yussy.

Check it out, the two percussionist from Cairo!

Time's up. Time to head back to school. We promised Milly that we'll meet him at Toa Payoh station and we'll go to school together. Its the 3 of us again, for the *i don't know how many times this week. But its fun being with you 2. Milly was in an all yellowish outfit. SPONGEBOB!

Green, Yellow and Black. JAMAICA!

More JAMAICANan poses.

Look at the sunset. Dah masuk WAKTU berbuka puasa.

School sponsored the food. Rezeki jangan ditolak, walaupun kalau boleh nak tolak.

A thirsty SPONGEBOB and a Stevie Wonder wannabe.

So we made a move from school to Mandai Tekong Park, which is like so near to my house. We went by bus catered by the school. Darn, the crowd was hype. It was the Lantern Festival. The sounds, the lights, it was HOT... and i mean like temperature HOT.

I just discovered that SOMEONE is afraid of the lion dance. But anyways, the excitement was high as the crowd was was a crowd. But its not those young and happening crowd. Nonetheless, they are still a crowd. For the first time in B.E, i'm playing surdo. Cool or What? Sadly, the performance felt so fast. But it was fun.

After the performance, Me, Yussy, Milly and Fadila went to starbucks. Ok we bought a drink at starbucks but we didn't actually sit there. Fadila and Milly went off first. Me and Yussy we left abit later. While walking we had this topic to talk about. Dealing with awkwardness. A long, open and subjective topic. Which lasted throughout our whole journey home.

There it went, my whole Saturday. Fun? You got to be there to know it...

GREEN, YELLOW AND BLACK. 2008.

LP 40th Anniversary Conga & Bongo

LP Cajon

Contemporanea 12" Repenique

A Didgeridoo

A Surdo

& More

Trying...

An un-responded message...

Reasons behind answers...

Something in that empty box... part 1

Reality...

A moment...

Be a child again...

Honestly...

Moving through time...

Whats hidden inside?

September 2008

October 2008

November 2008

December 2008

January 2009

March 2009

May 2009

June 2009

Yussay Ma'Dear Friend

Milly Ma'Dear Bro

Yanie Kerinting

Rozey O'Donald

NinSeh

Faiz

Natt

Yana-Kechik

Amino Acid

Ima Tamborim

Sammie Sammie!

Aqilah Miss Universe

Yana Banana.

Syukri Wee-Wee

AiniKeciq

Hafiz Cool

Wanie Merah

Eva Longoria

Liang Yu

Zahra One Tree Hill

Nina Ma'Bestie!

Massy ITE-mate

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

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Basecodes: Xinni
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